The most basic answer is never with a one exception. Marriage is to be for life, as we find in Genesis 2:23-24. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:23-24 NKJV) When something is one flesh the only way that they would be separated is for both to die. You cannot cut living creatures in two without both halves dying.
Through the law that Yahweh gave Moses a writ of divorce was allowed. “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, “when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, “if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, “then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before Yahweh, and you shall not bring sin on the land which Yahweh your Elohim is giving you as an inheritance. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4 NKJV)
The word uncleanness here was polluted over time to mean that if the man didn’t like the women he could divorce her. According to the Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance uncleanness is nudity, literally (especially the pudenda) or figuratively (disgrace, blemish). This divorcement wasn’t to be given just because the husband didn’t like the wife anymore. It was more serious. Yahshua clarifies what uncleanness is in Matthew 5:31-32. “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. (Matthew 5:31-32 NKJV)
Sexual immorality in Matthew 5:32 is translated fornication in the KJV. Fornication by some has been misinterpreted as being intercourse before marriage during the betrothal period. Of course this is not true because we know that Yahshua is quoting Deuteronomy 24 here in Matthew 5:31 which refers to divorce after the consummation of marriage. We will discuss the betrothal period a little later in relation to this verse. Fornication is defined by Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance as harlotry (including adultery and incest); figuratively, idolatry. The word pornography comes from the Greek word porneia which is translated fornication in the KJV and sexual immorality in the NKJV. The Online Bible Greek Lexicon defines porneia as:
1) illicit sexual intercourse
1a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
1b) sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
1c) sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; #Mr 10:11,12
2) metaph. the worship of idols
2a) of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred by eating the sacrifices offered to idols
Fornication is defined as two things, sexual immorality or idolatry. Yahshua clarified the uncleanness and also reiterated the importance of marriage. The above sub definition 1c defines fornication from Mark 10:11-12. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. (Mark 10:11-12)
This is meant to answer two questions. One is can a man put away his wife and marry another? The answer is that he would be committing adultery against her. The other is can a woman put away her husband and marry another? The answer to this was that she would be committing adultery against her husband. The interesting thing is that the word put away here is not necessarily divorce. The word put away is the Greek word apoluo which means to free fully, i.e. (literally) relieve, release, dismiss (reflexively, depart), or (figuratively) let die, pardon or (specially) divorce according to Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance. This word is used 69 times in the New Testament. Here are two out of the many examples of where apoluo is used and simply means to part:
Matthew 14:15 And when it was evening, his disciples came to him, saying, This is a desert place, and the time is now past; send (apoluo) the multitude away (apoluo), that they may go into the villages, and buy themselves victuals.
Matthew 15:39 And he sent away (apoluo) the multitude, and took ship, and came into the coasts of Magdala.
The word for divorce is defined as a separation and so the Greek word apoluo covers all kinds of separations whether it is from debt or from a spouse it is used interchangeably. According to some references this line of questioning was due to the fact that there were spouses being put away without a writ of divorcement. One possible example is Joseph’s reaction to Mary being pregnant during the betrothal period. Joseph fearing for Mary’s life was going to put her away privately. This would of certainly meant her death since she was not married and was pregnant. The law and Yahshua’s teachings don’t make any mention of divorce before marriage. Thus this private separation was not necessarily divorce. This separation never occurred because an angel of Yahweh explained that the child Mary was caring was of the Holy Spirit.
The law required the writ of divorcement. It was not a clear-cut separation unless the writ was given. So without the writ of divorcement either spouse would be committing adultery because they were still married.
The only exception for divorce is fornication, which is the uncleanness that Deuteronomy 24 gave as the only acceptable reason to divorce. There are many scriptures that give advice on making a marriage successful. (Deuteronomy 24:5+) One of those is the change in heart. Yahweh clearly didn’t want divorce but because of the hardness of a people’s hearts divorce was permitted.
Divorce in our society has reached an all time high. People are being divorced because of any reason imaginable. So why teach on this subject at all? Truth is important brethren. There are all kinds of paths that we have taken to end up here. Don’t let this deter you from keeping Yahweh’s laws. Yahweh’s laws are not just the laws of Yahweh but are our laws if they are written in our hearts. When we submit ourselves to Yahweh we must do it with a different heart than the heart of the world.
This heart challenges us to follow Yahweh with love and compassion. One flesh is the result of marriage and death is result of divorce. This world is challenged because some people are truly wicked. Some of the reasons for divorce are justified both scripturally and for the love of Yahweh’s little ones. Child abuse and spousal abuse are signs of the wickedness of this world and are clear justifications for divorce. Unfortunately the punishment for those who commit such horrid crimes is not death. When a child or our own life is in danger it seems imperative to separate. Such a marriage could not be called one flesh or even what Yahweh has joined.
There are hardened hearts almost anywhere we look but we must look beyond simple disagreements to the love of one another. What Yahweh has joined let no man put asunder. As men and women in the faith we may be joined to an unbeliever. This may add stress to a fragile union but to make it successful both must work at the relationship. We should be an example to an unbelieving spouse. Maybe through our love Yahweh will influence the heart of the unbeliever to call on Yahweh.
Yahweh has meant since the beginning of time for a marriage to be between a man and a women for life. As Yahshua said because of the hardness of their hearts divorce was allowed. Some of those who are unbelievers have this hardness. Some of those who call themselves believers have this hardness yet today. Our society to the most part has lost the respect for marriage. Once we understand this topic we are responsible to keep Yahweh’s law. Through Yahweh’s blessings we become one flesh in marriage by putting aside what we individually want rather working together as a united flesh.
People come to the faith from all walks of life repentant and changed. These people are Yahweh’s people just as much as those born into the faith. I fear that the wrong ideas maybe taught to those who have been divorced or those who have been divorced and remarried that they are not equal. Brethren Yahshua is truly the equalizer else what would the waters of baptism really accomplish. Once you enter into Baptism committed to Yahweh and Yahshua you are starting a renewed life or a life begotten from above. Your life should be lived for Yahweh’s righteousness and love.
Brethren I pray for your marriage that it survives the hardest times. Please always remember your commitment to one another. Remember your commitment to Yahweh and Yahshua.